How Will You Lead in the Fire?

We have seen many companies in the news lately that have conflicts that escalated very quickly into something that is seemingly unmanageable.  Between corporate discrimination and harassment, to political rhetoric, our newsfeeds have been filled with conflict that escalated very quickly and inflamed the tempers of many people at home, in the workplace, and in our own neighborhoods. Conflict happens.  We accidentally (and yes, sometimes purposefully) say something that offends someone. Or, we have differing opinions, and we don’t necessarily engage in respectful conversations.  But what do we do when we are faced with a conflict?  In many ways our current communications networks (i.e. social media, the news, etc) encourage us to escalate the conflict.  How do we stop the escalation and put out the fires?

When we are faced with conflict, it can be like walking into a fire.  We know it is hot.  We know it is uncomfortable, but at the same time many people are fascinated by it’s power. When a conflict starts, many times it is just a little tiny campfire that doesn’t seem like it is very dangerous and it seems pretty well controlled.  However, how we all respond when we see that fire is what determines that fire’s fate.  When addressing conflict, we are given two buckets.  One of the buckets contains water, and the other contains gasoline.  We have a choice as to which bucket we will use on the fire.

When dealing with hot button issues, our first reaction to the conflict (or the fire) is to respond to the fire in a very visceral way and to throw the bucket with gasoline on the fire.  We then take action that increases the size and severity of the fire.  We are all human, and it is very easy to reach for that bucket filled with gasoline.  We want to defend ourselves, and in some cases inflict the same damage on the other person that they inflicted on us.

But what if you can have a different reaction?  What if the person didn’t actually intend to hurt you, but the intent of their words did not match their impact?  I was recently at a restaurant and heard someone tell their companion that they needed to put on more makeup because she looked old and tired.  Ouch!  Who wants to be told they look old and tired?  It would be so easy to yell at the person, tell the person all about themselves, and maybe even stonewall them.  However, you have an option of another bucket.  Take a three second pause and reach for the bucket of water.  This doesn’t mean that you are going to ignore a hurtful statement or ignore the conflict.  It means that you are going to start a conversation that helps to move the conversation forward in a good way.  In this case, it is okay to say, “Ow.  I felt really put down and discouraged when you told me that I needed to put more make up on because I look old and tired.  I have a lot going on right now, and that really hurt my feelings.”  You are telling the other person what they did or said was not okay and requesting a behavior change.  But, you are requesting the change in a way that is not belligerent or accusatory.  You will also notice that you are not saying the person is bad, just that their words had an impact on you, and it wasn’t good.  The person is then given the opportunity to apologize, explain what they intended to say, but acknowledge that they did not say it in a good way.  It creates space for you to go forward  and create new rules of relationship.

Imagine the comments were made in the workplace.  It is important to recognize that your words and actions have an impact on others.  You can choose how you will respond, whether it be with the bucket of water or the bucket of gasoline.  It would be wonderful if we all reached for the bucket of water, but sometimes we will make mistakes and our intent will not align with our impact.  As leaders, it is extremely important that we are aware of our words, and that we can take a pause to consider which bucket we will use.  When you come across conflict, reach for the water.  You have an opportunity to model respectful conversations that can de-escalate a conflict before it grows into something newsworthy.  We are surrounded with encouragement to throw gasoline on the fire, but what if we start to model throwing water on the fire.  We can be a catalyst to shift the conversation from anger, hurt, and hate to one of respect and inclusion.

5 Ways to Embrace Learning

Learning is powerful.  As leaders, it is imperative that we continue to grow and learn.  However, we frequently find it too easy to start coasting when we have made it to that dream job, or to completely disconnect when we are in a job that no longer satisfies us.  We stop thinking about our own growth, and the growth of others.  We seem to get caught in the day to day operations of our jobs, without keeping an eye on continuing growth and development.  When we start to back away from learning and our own personal growth, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, and ultimately creating a box for ourselves and our employees.  However, we can keep our minds and our focus sharp by focusing on truly learning and growing as individuals and leaders.  Here are five ways to embrace learning:

1. Learn a new skill: There is something about learning a new skill that increases your confidence, and puts a little more pep in your step.  When you learn a new skill, whether it be learning to code so you know what your tech department is doing, or learning to play the piano, you are encouraging your brain to develop new connections, through a process called myelination.  As we become more comfortable performing the tasks associated with the skill, you are optimizing your brain’s capacity through myelination.  Ultimately, this will make you more innovative and engaged because your brain is learning to think outside of its old “box” or thought processes and increase thought speed through myelination.  As you are learning your new skill, remember to practice frequently, ask for feedback, and also focus on the quality of your practice.
2. Keep up to date with the latest trends in your field: This one is pretty self explanatory.  Most leaders are members of at least one professional organization, and those organizations publish research articles each month.  Keep reading them.  It is too easy to just quickly delete the email, or to place the journal in a stack on your bookcase.  Block out time to read at least one article a week.  Setting a designated time to read will help you to turn reading into a habit.  If you find it a little too easy to delete those email articles, print them out and place them in a location where you will be encouraged to read them.  This will help you to stay up to date on what is going on in your field, and it will also help you to continue to grow as a leader.
3. Conduct Research: When you first started out, you had to do research pretty regularly in order to complete your tasks.  Now, you know a fair amount, but you can always learn more and go deeper.  Do some research on how to grow an organization.  Start looking for trends, and dig deeper to do some statistical analysis to see if your hunches are having the desired ROI.  This also ties back into keeping up to date with the latest trends.  When you come across an article or concept that you find interesting, start doing research into other points of view on the subject.  Has it been successful in other organizations?  Do you see it playing out in your life?  What are other experts saying?  Continuing to go deeper into your research allows you to expand your critical thinking skills, and build capacity to ask the questions and develop goals for growth.
4. Go back to school: When you are in school you are part of a cohort that is focused on consuming as much information as possible.  These cohorts form a network that support us as we grow throughout our careers, and the skills that we gain are invaluable to guiding us on our career path.  Some people love the feeling of being a student in a formal educational setting.  They find the work rewarding and it motivates them to continue learning and being the best in their field, or even expanding their horizons into new career paths.  If you are struggling with how to move out of your box, and you remember thriving in the educational environment, look at opportunities to go back to school.  Maybe you want to pursue an advanced degree, or maybe you would like to earn a certificate that strengthens  your credentials  and helps guide your career to greater heights.  Look for learning opportunities that motivate you and strengthen you as an innovative leader that creates opportunities for his or herself, as well as opportunities for the entire organization.
5. Join a mastermind group: A mastermind group is a concept developed by Napoleon Hill.  It is basically a peer-to-peer mentoring group that helps you navigate through challenges using the collective intelligence and learning of the group.  When involved in a mastermind group, you are working with people who can help you see the forest through the trees.  They will help you define how you want to learn and grow, and then hold you accountable to those goals.  Everyone who comes to a mastermind group comes with a unique skill and educational background.  The educational strength of this group is immeasurable.  The support of the group makes your networking, development, and educational journey more fun.  You are not in your struggle alone.  There are people who are able to help you, and the beautiful thing is that you have skills that you are able to offer to help them as well.

As leaders it is imperative that we explore how to learn, and how to change.  We have so many opportunities to learn from our environment, our employees, our mentors, our peers, and literature.  Many people believe that after a certain age, it is impossible to learn something new, when we are truly open to learning at any point in our lives.  The more we focus on learning, the more open our brains are to accepting new information, learning new skills, and increasing thinking speed.  I encourage you to find new and innovative ways to learn and grow in your career and in your life.

What Makes You Thrive?

According to a study at the World Health Organization (WHO), most of the world’s population spends one third of their life working.  This is an enormous amount of time when you consider all the other demands on our lives (family, volunteering, religious obligations, housework, etc).  In order to thrive in those conditions, you need to understand why you work.  What is it that inspires you to get out of bed every day?

When I ask clients what motivates them to get out of bed every day, I inevitably get the answer, “my alarm clock!”  Yes.  Your alarm clock gets you out of bed every day, but you wouldn’t have set that alarm clock unless you had some motivation each night.  When asked to go deeper, many people talk about money.  Yes.  You need to earn money in order to provide for your self and maybe your family.  However, if you are only getting out of bed for the basic pay check, you don’t have as much inspiration to continue to thrive in your career, and elevate your leadership skills to the next level.  You could coast along where you are, which does require work, but it isn’t nearly as satisfying as working for something that makes your heart and head thrive.

Many people dream of owning the sports car, the mansion, the vacation, and having endless financial security.  These are all wonderful things that we would all love to have. However, the material possessions inevitably depreciate, and we are still left feeling unsatisfied with our work.  What I encourage you to do is to look internally, rather than externally.  What makes you thrive?  Many leaders and entrepreneurs when they achieve their initial goal, they reach a plateau.  They don’t continue because they are making the comfortable salary.   They got the car they wanted, but they inevitably end up unsatisfied with their lives.

What makes you THRIVE?  If you were to disappear tomorrow, what would you want you want people to remember?  When you can answer that question, you have found your core.  You have found that motivation that makes you want to get out of bed each morning.  Do you want to advance medical research?  Do you want to inspire a new generation of entrepreneurs?  Do you want to be an example for your family?  Do you want to change lives?  For me, I want to make a difference in the world.  I want to inspire people to be comfortable with who they are, and recognize that they have strengths that are extremely valuable to the world.   They have the capacity to learn and grow throughout their lives.  I want people to recognize that one of their strengths is that they have a voice that can be used to work together to build relationships and build a civil society that is innovative, collaborative, and respectful.  That is what inspires me to get out of bed each morning.  This is what makes me thrive.

 
When you know what makes you thrive, it is easier to stay focused.  We are always going to face some sort of adversity, some sort of push back.  Maybe people will be judgmental of our path, or we will feel like we need to keep up with the Jones’.  But when you know what you want to achieve out of your career, you can focus that third of your life to become a more complete part of the whole of your life.  You aren’t just a leader who works to fulfill the basic obligations of your job.  You are a leader who lives and leads by example, and is motivated to continue to learn and grow in your position.

Life is too short to think only in on dimension and to think that our work is completely separate from who we are.  We have to learn to focus not only on the need for money to survive, but also to be present and know what we need to do to thrive, and ultimately help our organizations and community thrive.  It doesn’t mean that we won’t struggle, or that we won’t have times that we worry about the necessary funds for survival.  It means that we are open to the fact that we have more to offer, more to learn, and more room to grow as leaders and members of society.  So, what makes you thrive?

6 Tips for Springtime Self-Care: Spring Cleaning for Leaders

On Monday, March 20th, spring arrived.  If you are like me you are very happy to welcome spring and say goodbye to winter.  Many organizations and leaders enter a time of renewal in spring.  During the winter months, they are working strictly on the business of leading and creating.  Their nose is to the grindstone, and with the lack of daylight, many workers leave and come home in the dark.  It is very challenging to maintain energy and momentum during those long winter months.  Now that spring is here, and we have survived the time change, it is a time for self renewal.

It is important for everyone to practice self-care.  For me, this becomes easier in the spring months.  It is almost like the world is saying, okay, the warmer weather is coming and everything is going to spring back to life, including you!  Here are a few things to motivate you to take care of yourself as we enter spring:

1. You First. Remember what they tell you about the oxygen mask on the plane.  Put your own mask on first before helping children and others in need of assistance.  Too many times we take care of others before taking care of ourselves.   Make time to take care of yourself; including, time to exercise, sleep, and enjoy family, friends, and hobbies outside of work.
2. Focus on the art of listening.  It is amazing how liberating and enlightening it is when we listen to understand rather than to respond.  When you focus on the art of listening you are creating space for personal growth, and the opportunity to build stronger relationships.
3. Only check your email and social media accounts as designated times of the day.  It is amazing how much time we waste, and how much of our energy we drain when we are constantly checking email and social media.  Human nature leads us to judge ourself against others on social media.  We also have a tendency to increase our stress levels with articles and posts that basically only serve to increase our blood pressure.  By focusing on email and social media at certain times of the day, you are creating barriers that protect your time, creativity, and stress levels.
4. Take a vacation.  According to projecttimeoff.com, “more than half of American workers (55%) left vacation time unused in 2015. This adds up to 658 million unused vacation days.  Additionally, “employees who take 10 or fewer days of vacation time are less likely to have received a raise or bonus in the last three years than those who took 11 days or more.”  Many people do not take time off because it is not discussed by leadership.  Not having time off increases levels of stress and has been shown to have adverse effects on health.  By taking your time off, and openly discussing the benefits of time off, you are not only renewing yourself, but you are encouraging your organization to do what is necessary to be healthy and productive.
5. Try something new.  When you work hard at doing the same things all the time, you are building yourself a box, and it can be very difficult to get out of that box.  So, live in the moment and try something new.  Even if it is not related to work, learning a new skill or trying something new increases your brain’s neural plasticity, and can be a lot of fun!  Break down that box, and explore the possibilities!
6. Get enough sleep.  According to the National Sleep Foundation, 45% of Americans say that poor or insufficient sleep effects their sleep at least once a week.  Many Americans report good sleep quantity (average of 7 hours and 36 minutes per night), but not good sleep quality.  Poor sleep quality means that you are not waking up and feeling refreshed.  We are surrounded by stimuli for most of the day, and many leaders have a difficult time turning off.  Work on establishing good sleep hygiene.  No screens in the bedroom.  Limit light and noise.  Also, establish a sleep routine where you get up and and go to bed at the same time every day.  This is a challenge with our schedules, and the desire to stay up and sleep in on the weekend.  However, sleep is important.  Evaluate your sleep habits, and look for where you can make improvements.

We get so caught up in the day to day tasks of our lives that sometimes we forget to take time for ourselves.  So, spring has sprung.  Take time to have fun, enjoy life, and take care of yourself.  This is your opportunity to grow as a leader who is living and leading harmoniously.

What is Organizational Culture and How Do We Change It?

Organizational Culture has become somewhat of a buzz word.  We talk about healthy and unhealthy cultures, but we don’t really talk about how organizational cultures are formed, and what leads to them being either healthy or unhealthy. Creating a culture that meets the current and future needs of the organization and its employees, increases employee and customer retention, increases innovation and requires leaders to have an understanding of the definition of organizational culture, how it is formed, and what items need to be in place to create space for organizational change.   Today, we will review a definition of organizational culture and explore three general steps to creating/supporting organizational culture change.

According to Edgar Schein, “the culture of a group can be defined as a pattern of shared basic assumptions that was learned by a group as it solved its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, that has worked well enough to be considered valid and, therefore, to be taught to new members as the correct way to perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems.”  In many organizations, organizational culture forms organically.  It truly is a response to what is going on that impacts the organization and it’s leaders and employees.  However, as many of us know, we can start to form habits that  can be unhealthy, and ultimately those unhealthy habits become ingrained as part of an unhealthy culture.  In many organizations these habits can be seen in ineffective communication strategies, in fighting, a lack of diversity and inclusion, and ultimately a high employee turnover rate and diminished customer base.  In many start up organizations, the cultural norms that served them well when they were small, do not translate well into scaling an organization for growth; therefore, an unhealthy organizational culture begins to form.  So what are we supposed to do as leaders to make sure we are creating a healthy organizational culture?

The first step to beginning a culture change, or outlining an intentional culture, is to clearly define the specific problem you would like to change and create specific new behavioral goals.  Just stating that you are implementing a culture change initiative is not enough.  It is difficult for employees and leadership to buy in to an effort that is not clearly defined.  You will get questions like, “Why are we changing the culture? It works well for me!  People should just do there jobs.  Oh boy, here we go again with another initiative that doesn’t really do anything.”  When you clearly define the problem you want to address and change, it is much easier to increase buy in, establish SMART goals, and follow through with metrics to support the work.  An example of specific behavioral goals to address the lack of engaged and inclusive culture could be developing a more global mindset, increasing the diversity of the leadership body, increasing employee engagement, and/or increasing employee retention.

The second step to effect change in an organization is to introduce specific training and expectations to the organization.  If you have ever tried to make personal changes, such as eating healthy or exercising regularly, you know that it can be a challenge.  In the beginning, we are resistant to the idea even though we know in the long run we will be healthier, happier, and more productive.  The same holds true in organizations.  Employees and leadership have to identify the changes they need to make and begin implementing strategies for change.  One of the most important elements to this change process is training.  Training allows cognitive redefinition through identification with leadership role models, a new understanding of roles and expectations, and an alignment with personal and organizational values.  When working with adults, it is extremely important that they be involved in the training and learning process.  Adult learners are more likely to work for goals when they have been included in the learning process.  It will also increase internalization and buy in of the behavioral change being outlined in the learning process.

The third step to organizational change is reinforcing the positive effect of new behaviors and confirming the data supporting change initiative.  This is where leaders and consultants need to be very proactive in tracking change metrics because they will reinforce to stakeholders that the effort is working, and positive changes are being made.  This allows the new behaviors, values, and beliefs to stabilize and become institutionalized in the organization.   Providing accountability mechanisms, coaches, mentors, and peer to peer learning groups allows stakeholders to reinforce their training and reinforce the positive changes through relationships.  It is important to provide these support mechanisms because it allows the stakeholders to work through problems and questions they may encounter within a supportive framework, which upholds the values and goals of the change initiative, especially when encountering struggles where the default is strong.

The final step for organizational change is to create organizational structures that support the behaviors and values of the change initiative.  This could mean implementing a new review process, creating institutionalized group learning processes, developing inclusive on boarding processes, and creating value based evaluation systems.  It is important to create mechanisms that support positive workplace culture, and create opportunities to continually evaluate the organizational culture and to create space for changes as the organization grows and adapts to meet the needs of all stakeholders.  Organizational culture is dynamic, so creating support and adaptation mechanisms allow the organization to support employees and customers, all while building social capital and establishing future readiness.

Organizational culture is a powerful force.  It can make or break your organization.   Creating a positive organizational culture inspires all stakeholders to work not only for the organization at the present time, but it also inspires employees and leaders to work for the future.  You are creating a reason to work that is more than a task, it is a purpose that takes into account the needs of all stakeholders; including, leadership, employees, customers, vendors, and the community.  We have just been through a very general overview of organizational culture and change.  If you would like more information on organizational culture and change within your organization, please contact ITL Systems.